When Sabrina Bahoon went viral on TikTok declaring that "being delulu is the solulu," she gave a catchy name to a generation's favorite coping mechanism. It was meant to be a joke about confidence. But for too many singles, "delulu" morphed from a funny mantra into a disastrous dating strategy.
You want a partner who stands over six feet tall, earns six figures, and goes to therapy. That isn't a standard; it's a statistical outlier. U.S. Census Bureau Data (2023) suggests that filtering for just height and income eliminates 99.2% of the male population. And that’s before you ask if they are kind.
For years, the internet prescribed "manifestation." We are prescribing a calculator. By applying Bayes’ Theorem to modern romance, we replace magical thinking with probability.
Logan Ury, Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, warns that "maximizers" stay single because they believe a perfect match is one scroll away. This is the Paradox of Choice in action: infinite options create paralysis, not freedom. The Delulu Dating Probability Index quantifies the gap between your expectations and reality.
The Math of the "6-6-6" Standard
Your criteria are mathematically insolvent. If you hold out for the viral "6-6-6" benchmark—six feet tall, six-figure income, six-pack abs—you are hunting for a demographic ghost. According to U.S. Census Bureau Data (2023), the percentage of unmarried men under 40 earning at least $100,000 hovers around 14%. Filter that group for men who are at least 6'0" tall, and the pool collapses to roughly 0.8%. Add physical fitness metrics or specific political affiliations, and you are effectively shorting the market with a probability of success near zero. AI-driven matchmaking services like The Keeper run these calculations instantly. They don't rely on "vibes." They use actuarial tables to show clients that their specific combination of requirements often yields a candidate pool of zero people within a 50-mile radius. This validates the core thesis of Date-onomics: demographic imbalances—specifically the surplus of college-educated women versus eligible men—have created a distorted seller's market."We see users reject the top 1% of compatible partners because they're holding out for a statistical anomaly that doesn't exist. It's not settling to adjust your filters; it's correcting for market inflation." — Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hingeð Key Takeaways
- The Math of the "6-6-6" Standard
- Bayesian Inference: Updating Your Priors
- Insider Moves Most People Miss
Bayesian Inference: Updating Your Priors
The "Delulu" mindset fails because it refuses to update Bayesian priors. In statistics, you must update the probability of an event ($P(A|B)$) as new evidence arrives. In dating, "delulu" users ignore the evidence to protect the fantasy. To calculate your actual position on the Index, you must filter the total addressable market (TAM) through three statistical sieves: 1. **The Demographic Base Rate:** This is your starting probability. As noted, the "6-6-6" criteria applies to just **0.046%** of the male population. If you require the partner to be under 30, you are chasing a unicorn. 2. **The Availability Filter:** Existence does not equal availability. **Pew Research Center** data indicates that while 63% of men under 30 are single, nearly half are not currently looking for a relationship. 3. **The Behavioral Update:** This is where Bayes' Theorem kills the Situationship. Every interaction is a data point. A partner who takes 24+ hours to respond isn't "playing hard to get"; they are providing a likelihood ratio that slashes the probability of long-term commitment.Insider Moves Most People Miss
- Audit your "Total Addressable Market." Before you manifest, do the math. If you require a partner who is 6 feet tall, earns six figures, and is under 35, you are hunting for less than 1% of the population. Loosen one metric—drop the height requirement to 5'9"—and your pool triples.
- Weight "Emotional Availability" over Income. High earners often have an inverse relationship with time availability. A partner with $200k income but zero free time has a Relationship Probability Score of 0.
- Stop "Manifesting" and Start Filtering. Confirmation Bias makes you count the one time they viewed your story and ignore the ten texts they didn't answer. Use the calculator to force an objective view of the connection.
ð Worth Noting: But for too many singles, "delulu" morphed from a funny mantra into a disastrous dating strategy